The Iconoclast and Guardian Symphony: Embracing the Dualities Within

This article was originally published on Medium. Please check it out there for the original and to show some love!

Prussian Dragoon meets Beatnik/Hipster Descendant

When I began my seminary studies, there was a preliminary step that I can only describe as part initiation, part “Are you sure you’re in the right place?” They subjected us to a series of psychological tests, after which we met with a counselor to review the findings.

Now, let me set the scene. I walk in, hopeful, perhaps even a tad nervous. Before we even begin, my counselor lets out a roaring guffaw, leaving me momentarily stunned. “Whoa! You’re gonna have some trouble fitting in here.” He chuckled.

I couldn’t help but think, ‘Well, that’s not exactly news.” Conformity and I have always been like oil and water.

He presented a bell-curve graph, which, in his eyes, measured conformity — evidently the benchmark for those pursuing theological studies. He pointed with a dramatic flair to the leftmost edge, barely on the graph, and declared, “Here’s where you are!” Then, moving his finger to the middle bulge of the curve, he continued, “And here’s where most of your fellow students are. Most are conformists and will glide through. You? Well, you’re in for an… interesting journey.”

The irony? This “revelation” didn’t discourage me. Instead, it felt like validation. It provided a form of scientific evidence for what I had always felt — my quirky way of being in the world.

This initial encounter set the tone for my journey, but it also illuminated a deeper truth: existing as an Iconoclast in a world of conformists isn’t a flaw. Some days it feels like a superpower, but mostly, it’s just who I am. And while the road might be rockier, it’s also pretty interesting.

And that leads me to this little essay

In every individual, there’s a captivating ensemble of personalities, often contrasting, that makes them who they are. While these traits may seem at odds, they represent the rich tapestry of human nature. Today, I invite you on a journey to explore and embrace two such intriguing archetypes: The Iconoclast and The Guardian.

Imagine stepping into a meticulously curated space. In a cozy corner, engrossed in a riveting book or sketching away, sits The Iconoclast. This figure doesn’t need to be conspicuously loud or rebellious to stand out. This is the side that opts for subtly patterned, mismatched socks or a unique, understated accessory on an ordinary day just to challenge the mundane. The Iconoclast contemplates intensely, questions the norm, and often surprises everyone with a thought-provoking “What if?” “Why not?” or “Have you considered this?” It embodies an inner drive to redefine boundaries and explore the uncharted territories of the mind. For many introspective souls, the Iconoclast is the quiet force that pushes them to pen profound reflections or paint serene landscapes with unexpected twists.

Yet, as you venture further into the room, you might spot The Guardian standing near a corner, watching with a keen, protective eye. This character is all about discipline, routine, and responsibility. It’s the voice that reminds you to double-check important emails before sending or to check your bank account before embarking on a big expenditure. The Guardian represents the structured, principled part of us that believes in the merit of hard work, consistency, and integrity.

Now, here’s where the plot thickens: How do these seemingly opposite characters coexist? They seem more likely to be at loggerheads than to sit down for a peaceful cup of coffee. Yet, their interplay is crucial. The Iconoclast brings in spontaneity and fresh perspectives, while The Guardian ensures stability and a grounded approach.

Think of it as a seesaw. Too much of The Iconoclast, and we might find ourselves in a chaotic whirlwind, hopping from one idea to another without seeing anything to fruition. On the other hand, an overbearing Guardian can limit creativity and make us too cautious and stuck in our ways. The art lies in balancing the two, in letting them communicate, negotiate, and find a harmonious middle ground.

So, how can one navigate this intricate dance? To start with, by recognizing and acknowledging both. Self-awareness is key. Second, by setting up intentional dialogues between the two. Maybe it’s about letting the Iconoclast brainstorm freely for a set period, after which the Guardian steps in to streamline and plan. Last but not least, it’s about celebrating this duality. It’s a testament to our multifaceted nature, our ability to dream wildly while also anchoring ourselves in reality.

Back to the personal. Beneath the surface of my spirited nonconformity lies an unexpected counterpart: a structured, punctual Guardian. It’s a weird contrast to my rebellious nature, and I always wondered where in the heck that came from. The clue, I believe, is woven into the tapestry of my family’s history.

On my father’s side, our roots stretch back to the mystical Carpathian mountain region of Eastern Europe. Tales of folk magic, fortune-telling, and séances are woven into our lineage. During the late 1800s and early 1900s, my ancestors brought their spiritual traditions with them when they embarked on a courageous journey to new shores. Our lineage is a vibrant mix, encompassing Rusyn, Romani, Ashkenazi, and other ethnicities I’ve yet to uncover. It’s a rich cocktail, and I’m cautious about oversimplifying our diverse heritage.

In contrast, my mother’s lineage, also mostly from Eastern Europe, is embroidered with military discipline. One story that stands out is of my 5th great-grandfather, Michael Blumenau. Born in Kaliningrad (formerly Königsberg), Michael’s documented history reads: “Michael Blumenau, the legitimate son of innkeeper Michael Blumenau, enrolled with the Schorlemer Dragoon Regiment. He was honorably discharged by General Major of Schorlemers Excellency on September 22, 1749.” This military legacy continued, with many descendants heeding a similar call to serve.

5th Great-Grandfather, Michael Blumenau’s record

The interplay of these diverse histories within me — the mystical and the methodical — offers a fascinating insight into my dual nature. It’s a reminder that our pasts often hold the keys to understanding our present.

To my fellow adventurers out there, go ahead and get acquainted with your inner archetypes. If they’re the Iconoclast and Guardians — or something else — take them to brunch. Dance with them, argue with them, but most of all, let them collaborate. In their harmonious union lies the secret to a life lived in vibrant color and steadfast purpose.

In wrapping things up, the Iconoclast and Guardian inside us aren’t adversaries, even if they occasionally toss playful jabs at each other. They’re co-stars in the grand performance of life. By tuning into both, we can discover a realm filled with boundless possibilities and enchantment.

As mentioned, the original article was published on Medium.